Boxers or Briefs? Unzipping the Mystery.


There is a lot of energy in today’s world dedicated to categorizing us as human beings.   Men more than ever have to figure out whether they wish to be viewed as old fashion, stoic “he-men,” or would they prefer the label of being modern, sensitive “metro-sexuals” when it comes to their approach to man-hood?

Image result for boy george

I wonder what kind of underwear this young “go-getter” prefers?  On second thought, maybe I don’t.

One of the ways you can judge a man is by what they keep closest to their heart….or groin.  Honestly, one has to admit that the first decision of any consequence that every man makes each morning can be traced directly to which pair of underwear they decide to put on.

While women can run the gamut from so-called “Granny-panties” to thongs,  men are really limited to the concept of boxers or briefs.  (I know there are men who have now adopted the “boxer/brief” look, but I reject that concept.  You can’t have it both ways in this world.  Pick a style, and live with your choices!)  There are plusses and minuses  with whatever direction you choose.

Boxer Positives

  1. They are extremely comfortable
  2. You can sleep in them
  3. You can walk around the house in them without barely causing a scene
  4. They allow your “boys” to swing freely.
  5. If they stick out of the top of your pants, you won’t be subject to ridicule.

Boxer Negatives

  1. They give little to no support for your “boys.”
  2. They slide around a lot
  3. They can get caught in your fly
  4. Young men think that the whole world should see them
  5. They’re not shorts
Image result for underwear boxers

Because my parents taught me to be proud of my body, I decided to humbly model these for you.

Briefs Positives

  1. They keep your tummy tucked in.
  2. They give support to your “boys.”
  3. They tend to stay in place.
  4. The elastic seems to last longer than on boxers.
  5. When you’re a kid, you can pretend you are a professional wrestler by wearing them.

Briefs Negatives

  1. They have become the stuff of public mockery.
  2. They sometimes are too tight for your “boys.”
  3. They show all of your “sins.”
  4. If they fall below your belly, they feel annoying.
  5. You should never be seen walking around in them over the age of nine.
Image result for man in briefs

This one is off the charts on the “creep” scale.

For me, there were two factors that forced my hand in giving up the “brief” look, and switching over permanently to the boxer coalition.  First, it was the nickname “tighty-whities” that gave me pause when it came to my choice  of undergarment.  Being a grown man, and walking around wearing something that almost everybody was now referring to as “tighty-whities” just wasn’t working for me.

The nail in the coffin however for my career as a wearer of briefs came from an interview with Brian Cranston.  He was discussing why his infamous character “Walter White” on the classic television program Breaking Bad was seen so often wearing his “tighty-whities” on-screen.  Cranston said that he wanted his character to basically be as dorky as possible.  A complete loser if you will.  Consider me converted.  Hello boxers!